If you have landed on this page, then welcome and hello. As the blog title suggests, this is a shared space for navigating the murky avenue of ‘midlife’. I created this blog, so that I can share with you, all the weird and wonderful things I have trialled, adopted and dabbled in, during this strange transitioning time of life. My life now, looks 100% opposite, to how it was 5-10 years ago. There was a significant period of change for me and in all honesty, my transforming is still evolving. I’m now in a place where I accept that life is a continuous journey and we all have a story to tell, so that we can share, learn and support each other. Let me get straight to it – my roles have changed, my body (internal and external) have changed, my outlook of life has changed, what I place importance on has changed, my relationships have changed, my relationship with myself has changed and my priorities have changed. Please use this platform to recognise that you are not alone and we can
Learning Gratitude
For me, gratitude has been a developing skill that's taken me conscious effort to adopt. I truly believe that reaching my midlife years has allowed me the head space to be more considered about the everyday things that we generally take for granted.
There's no question that I've been grateful for so many things, throughout my whole life but when I was younger, the things that I caught myself being grateful for, where generally quite significant things. For instance, generous gifts or major events that brought me joy. I was totally blind to the joy and gratitude that can be seen in every moment. Those moments are there, if we are open, conscious and willing to see them. However, this takes patience and regular practice.
Perceptions of Gratitude
Life circumstances and experiences shape our 'openness' in being able to recognise all the magnificent things we have in our lives. So, it is not without context for each person. Each of us will arrive at a place of gratitude at different stages and durations in our lives, some may be fleeting and some may be part of every day life.
My personal journey of becoming more grateful has been a very long process. During childhood and right up until my early adult life, I was painfully shy and struggled greatly with social interactions. This created a situation for me of being very preoccupied with my 'personality' and constantly questioning why I felt like I never seemed to fit in. I often had a feeling of discomfort in myself. Looking back, I can rationalise that these difficulties impacted on my ability to 'see' the positive and good things around me.
When I had children and began my working life, this created a situation were I had too many 'life' distractions that equally blinded me to everyday joy. Of course my children gave me a great deal of enjoyment and joy but on reflection, I don't think I ever took the time to sit back and recognise how grateful I was for the joy they brought me. Maybe because of a mix of parental fatigue and fire fighting to juggle the million and one tasks that family and work life bring. Whatever the reason, its not been until my midlife, that I have felt able to adopted practices that help me to recognise all the things I'm grateful for.... big and small.
Practicing Gratitude
As I've mentioned in previous posts, I started regularly practicing yoga and meditation several years ago and I can honestly say, these have been the biggest influences of change, in my life.
I recall, going through a difficult time in my life when I felt lost and didn't recognise who I was anymore. I really struggled to understand my identity outside of being a parent or a wife, or friend or work colleague. It was easy to slip into these roles, they felt easy and familiar but none of these things were 'me' they were my 'roles'. Who was I, what did I like doing/watching/seeing/eating etc...... Everything felt blurry and intangible. It was this reason and this reason alone, that drew me to yoga and meditation. I can't really explain why I was drawn to these practices other than it felt intuitive. I had no intention of adopting these practice with any specific aims in mind. What I was quick to realise, was that everytime I practiced yoga and meditation, a sense of ease and peace washed over me. It strangely felt liberating and that my sense of self was opening and expanding. I know this sounds a bit wishy washy but the truth is it led my down a path that I did not know I needed but am so grateful for.
Yoga and meditation were the stepping stones into my evolving spiritual self and I have since ventured into such a array of different practices that continue to shape me and help me to see and recognise all that's great around us, both visible and not.
I know many people like to practice gratitude journaling and although I don't personally do this myself, I do take time out every day to stop and think about all that I am grateful for. Let me tell you, there's plenty!
If you need a little help with recognising all the things you are truly grateful for, I would recommend writing them down, especially if you have many distractions in your life that pull you away from 'seeing' all the amazing things you have in your life. Even in the darkest and low times, there's bits of joy that can be found if you can take some time out to clear the fog.
Remember, gratitude can be seen all around us, not just those big obvious moments of enjoyment, they can be seen in the sun shining, the rain giving life to earth, cuddles with our pets, food in our mouths, a hand to hold, a smile from a stranger and so one. The list is endless.
I'm gratetful for the opportunity to share my journey and personal experience with gratitude. Good luck on your journey.
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